Going back to the same thing. It’s been good for awhile, but of course it has to go back to the same way. Why do i have to feel this way? It’s not like i never ask to hang out, or never ask when something’s wrong, or never give little things. I go out of my way to be nice and make sure everything’s okay. But then once i do something wrong, unintentionally, then of course I will just get treated like a stranger again. It’s okay that other people get treated nicely just because they have some label, or they are “cool”. And it’s okay, if they make some mistake. But of course, I work hard to be close, but then one thing i do wrong, i gotta be the person that no one wants to talk to. To be honest, I’m sorry that i want to be able to share my feelings, to lean on the people i trust the most. Maybe i always had higher tolerance for others, but when friends mess up, i can’t ever stay mad for long.  I’m sorry that I don’t know how to front like the rest of you, because i truly thought, friends can always count on one another. But I guess not. Another disappointment..

On the topic of disappointment,there’s YOU. I’ve hated the way you acted, the way you make stupid decisions, the way you disrespected other. But somehow, i let it go. Maybe because of the fact that i was suppose to be nice to you, or because i thought you have grown up and tried to get your life together. And I gave you credit for that. But honestly, i didn’t have to do anything. I did it because i wanted to fulfill my duties, and to make your day a little happier, and for you not feel left out. Only to realize that, you’re still the same person. You may have gotten better, or act like you’re better than others now. But you still havn’t learn to appreciate people around you. A thank you would’ve been nicer than “idc”

But then again what do i realize? Doing nice things for others doesn’t get you anywhere.

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